Tonight, My Heart Sank

The night of the last US presidential election 

gave me a blow of shock and sorrow.


Countless nights followed thereafter

crunching the heart and splitting the head

no matter where I laid my body

in pursuit of an escape 

from the conscious state.


My heart 





The night came with a tsunami of knowledge 

that many will suffer days and nights 

the same way they have or even the worse


For my ears have heard the stories of struggles 

from the ones breathing and heaving


For what have come across me in person

is only a fraction of the entire country


For I know what’s really happening 

is so scary and disturbing 

that it would haunt me

and keep me up all night 


For I will think of real faces

when I hear the news of violence 

that will be carried out in a legal manner 

“for our lovely nation”


For my arms will remember 

the warm bodies and beating hearts 

of those who had embraced me 

with their own arms 


For the tip of my fingers 

desperately seek out words 

in the middle of a dark room

in search of some comfort


For I will soon return to another “United” land 

that is competing with this “United” land 

in who can more effectively torture their own people 

and winning it every single day


For surviving the oppression of my kind 

and coping with the oppression of other kinds 

will be so overwhelming that 

I will stop worrying about people I’ll have left behind



my heart 


for you. 


[Call it like it is] Fuck off, Columbus! Hello, Indigenous Peoples’ Day!

When I grew up in South Korea, I had to memorize a lot of data in history classes: names, dates, figures, place names, historical events, etc. Memorization of data was the main goal of the class, and I hated it.

9781101971062I took one year of U.S. History class in my high school in NYC after I immigrated. It was not much different from the history classes in Korea. I memorized terms like Louisiana Purchase and Manifest Destiny to pass the NYS regents exam. There was no story spoken by Native Americans. If there were, it would have started my waking up process 20 years earlier, but that didn’t happen. For example, using the book that has recently taken the first place as fiction on my list: Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi (My #1 non-fiction is The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History by Elizabeth Kolbert) would have been extremely helpful. When I read this historical fiction last month, I was touched, moved, and torn apart. The history flew through my heart, not through my head. I truly believe learning history through personal stories is more effective than memorizing data.


Columbus Day has been an ordinary holiday to me, the day I don’t go to school or work. It is a holiday that I did not celebrate in Korea, but now I’m in the U.S. so why not join the party? While I’ve been numbly brainwashed by the White heteronormative racist agenda, other woke and caring people have been working hard to reverse the tremendous damage Christopher Columbus had inflicted 500 years ago. In observance of “Columbus Day 2019”, I read a few articles on the movement of renaming this holiday and picked a few years that line up its turns in history. Data again! What can you do? I’m from Korea.

  • 1492: Christopher Columbus lands on the Western Hemisphere.
  • 1792: the first documented observance of Columbus Day takes place in NYC.
  • 1934: President Franklin D. Roosevelt declares the first national observance of Columbus Day.
  • 1990: South Dakota, as the first state, renames Columbus Day as Native Americans’ Day.
  • 2019: Washington D.C. passes a resolution to change Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples’ Day. (A full list of other states, districts, and cities that changed the name)

What this data tells me is that we are taking a fucking long time to mend our wrongdoings. If you claim that you did not invade this land yourself. Well, you are still responsible for mending it because your ancestors left it to you like your children will have to deal with climate change that you are leaving to them.

I understand why it is taking so long: because of how our society is structured. The people in power benefit from the structure and will do their best not to change it. Covering up the truth, creating their own narratives, and propagandizing them to the general public are the strategies they use.

But revels rise bearing and fighting for truth. And now they are proclaiming loud and proud: Fuck Columbus! It’s Indigenous Peoples’ Day! This new name “recognizes that Native people are the first inhabitants of the Americas.” And “there is power in a name and in who we choose to honor,” Gov. Janet Mills of Maine said as she signed a bill last April to establish Indigenous Peoples’ Day in her state.

Indigenous_Peoples_day_-_smallWe need to continue learning about what Christopher Columbus did. In fact, we should never forget what he did and ensure that our future generations remember it, too. Meanwhile, we do not need a holiday named after him to celebrate or commemorate. Including the celebration of Indigenous Peoples’ Day, we need to make a lot more effort on healing the wounds of Native Americans from our history and fighting against the structural racism that continues to marginalize and erase them.




Feminist linguistic activism in the U.S. + intersectionality


An example from 1971

Since I’ve been writing about intersecionality, I will start with that.

When two female students at Harvard Divinity School in 1971 made a request to their professor to stop using “he to refer to God and masculine pronouns to refer to people in general,” the professor honored their requests. While some male students were open to this newly implemented practice, other male students including the few students of color were resistant. They were “leery of white feminists, even though we had come out of the civil rights movement ourselves,” stated Emily Culpepper, one of the students who made the request. This is an applicable example of how one marginalized group can impede the cause of the other marginalized group.

An example from 2019: U.S. Supreme Court Hearing on LGBTQ employment discrimination


Source: One Iowa Facebook Page

One Iowa, a non-profit organization that “advances, empowers, and improves the lives of LGBTQ Iowas statewide,” made a posting on their Facebook page yesterday. It was an update on the current hearing at the U.S. Supreme Court on three cases about LGBTQ employment discrimination with a poster that says Protect LGBTQ Workers. “These cases will determine if federal law protects LGBTQ people.” It made me question hard: ‘What could be the ground for not hiring or firing someone based on their sexual representation? How could it connect to their job competency?’ I could not come up with an answer. Currently, the civil rights laws of some states provide protection from employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity but it is not covered in federal civil rights laws. Can we justify discriminating against a person because of who they are? Sexual orientation or gender identity is a core part of an individual like race, color, religion, sex or national origin, the elements covered by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. If we can opt to exclude a part of identity from legal protection, wouldn’t it mean that we can exclude any element? When we fail to protect a group of people who are marginalized due to their identifying characteristics, for example, immigrants or women, it does not just affect that group; it affects all marginalized groups. That is how intersectionality works.

Feminist linguistic activism in the U.S.

The story of two female students at Harvard Divinity School is used in the article, Language and its everyday revolutionary potential: feminist linguistic activism in the US by Christine Mallinson (2017), as an example of “challenging man-made language forms.” Mallinson analyzes three strategies deployed in linguistic activism by the U.S. feminists: (1) challenging man-made language forms, (2) creating and institutionalizing egalitarian naming practices, and (3) linguistic disruption. These activists use the language as “an object to reform” as well as “a platform for revolution.”

In the introduction, Mallison explains the fundamental problem with English as a man-made language:

Gendered linguistic inequalities are also often rendered invisible, via pervasive gendered ideologies that construct male-oriented, hegemonic social structures, positions, and practices as normal and natural.
Language not only reflects larger social arrangements and hierarchies; it also creates, challenges, and maintains them.

Let’s go over the three strategies under discussion one by one.

Challenging man-made language forms

What the two female students at Harvard Divinity School challenged in their request was the use of androcentric words. They are “centered on, emphasizing, or dominated by males or masculine interests.” They cause problems to gender equality because they try to “establish ‘the man/the male as the prototype for human representation … [and] reduces the woman/female to the status of the ‘subsumed,’ the ‘invisible,’ or the ‘marked’ one’” (Pauwels 2003: 553). 25 years after this incident, organizations have now established their policy against sexist language. For example, the Linguistic Society of America recommends that “whenever possible, use plurals and other appropriate alternatives, rather than only masculine pronouns and ‘pseudo-generics’ such as man, unless referring specifically to males” (LSA Bulletin 1996: 68). Although the wave of generic use of man and masculine pronouns has passed us mostly, now there is an emergence of a new androcentric term: you guys. This is proof that male hegemony will continue to rise and seep through our language use because “being required to speak of people as males … seem[s] natural, immutable and preferable” (Henley and Abueg 2003: 449).

Creating and institutionalizing egalitarian naming practices

A big part of this work is instituting titles that treat all genders equally such as the use of Ms. Abandoning Miss. and Mrs. was important because “women were judged, qualified, and disqualified, included and excluded, on the basis their marital status” (Eckert and McConnel-Ginnet 2003: 43). Nowadays, another title is being promoted, especially in the U.K.: the gender-neutral Mx. (pronounced like “mix”).

Linguistic disruption

This strategy is used to disrupt the male hegemony by “actively making women visible in everyday language and everyday spaces.” The first type of the strategy is the neologism, introducing new words such as herstory, and womyn. They are not intended to be realistic or be used widely. They rather serve the purpose of “re-envisioning of language and history by and for women, and to raise awareness, sometimes in a more provocative manner” (Pauwels 2003: 562). The second type is called “form replacement” or “gender-neutralization.” These are simple, practical, and attainable changes such as switching from fireman to firefighterchairman to chair(person), waiter/waitress to server.

Concluding Q&A

Some people are skeptical of linguistic activism: can language use bring about social changes? Language and society are tightly intertwined and therefore influence each other constantly. As the generic use of you guys in recent years shows, the male hegemony will keep influencing our language use. At the same time, “we do language,” according to the author Toni Morrison. Each individual is an independent agent of the language they use. Here is a quote from Mallinson to conclude:

We can claim words, we can fight over their meanings, we can resist linguistic bias, we can tamper with sexist form, we can creatively deploy linguistic resources, we can speak truth to power.

Contemplating a Pursuit of PhD

Particles of desire ready to form

I am in the process of preparing an application for PhD programs in linguistics. The biggest question that I need to answer, in order to move forward with it and also to write in the statement of purpose, is what I want to research and why. I knew I have this lump of desire for it, but I have been struggling to see the shape of it clearly. It’s still a cluster of particles getting ready to become a planet. I decided to read and watch materials on people who do linguistic research, hoping that they will provide some ideas to reflect on. Why do others research linguistics and why do they pursue doctorate degrees?

What PhD programs entail

The first video I watched is Things about a PhD nobody told you by Laura Valadez-Martinez on TEDxLoughboroughU. Dr. Valadez-Martinez shared pieces of truth and advice that she picked up during her PhD program that she didn’t know before lauching into it. Fortunately I already knew most of them after going through a master’s program myself and having witnessed a PhD candidate’ life close by. But I could imagine that many people do not know about these before they enter a PhD program. Graduate school throws new types of challenges that students haven’t experience in other environments. It was true for me and other members of my cohort. We were shocked and overwhelmed by its rigor, let alone a PhD program.

There was a period of time that I was afraid of pursuing a doctorate degree because I knew how intense it is and how much work it entails. However, I’ve come to peace with it over time. My success in writing a master’s thesis and defending it along with all the joy (and pain) that I felt in each stage of that journey made me feel confident that not only I can do a doctorate degree but also I might be able to enjoy it. Of course I will suffer, but that is part of the package. You can get that much joy out of it because of the level of the challenge. My experience of master’s program also taught me a lesson that I will use for my doctorate program: build and use your own support system and a self-care routine. Sitting with my computer for many hours of transcribing my recorded data, writing drafts, and editting them, I learned that I will need a companion animal if I ever do this again: a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a pig, any living and sentient being that I can interact with and feel accompanied when I’m doing my solitary work at home.

The joy of connecting with people

This is one of my biggest joys in life: connecting with people. When I earned the grant to travel to Korea to interview people for my master’s thesis research, I was so focused on how to do it right, I didn’t know what to expect in terms of my own experience. It turned out I greatly enjoyed it. I love meeting people in general, and my interviewees were mostly people that I already had a relationship with but haven’t seen for awhile. The interviews gave me a chance to talk with them one-on-one, which was a rare case for relatives because we usually gather as a group. Also the goal of capturing the speech of my interviewees allowed me to focus on what they had to say instead of what I wanted to tell them. I got to really listen to them and they got to really express what’s on their mind.

This joy of spending time with my interviewees and listening to their stories was revived when I started transcribing. I was reliving those moments of honest talks, laughters, and exchanges of thoughts and feelings during my interviews. The tast of transcribing 25+ interviews, at least an hour long each, was daunting at the beginning; however, it became an experience that I enjoyed more than I had feared.

In The Joy of Sociolinguistic Fieldwork, Dr. John R. Rickford at Stanford University shares his experience similar to mine. His interviewees were not from his personal relationships, but he built relationships with them, which is indeed one of his tips for sociolinguitic fieldwork: Treat them like human beings that you would interact with authentically, not just as a source of data; enjoy the visits and accept their offers of connecting more such as conversations outside interviews, foods or drinks; be aware of who else is in the interview space since they might influence the comfort level and authenticity of the interviewee; and help out in the community you are entering for your research. These are all very useful tips that I can relate to looking back at my fieldwork experience. Interviewees are people. They want to know you enough to trust you with their stories, and that takes time and effort.

Shaping ideas

I’m slowly shaping ideas on what I want to research in my PhD program: something related to linguistic imperialism; how it is damaging to South Koreans and how they are resisting it. I’m already excited by the idea that I might be able to go into the community and meet these people who are resisting: people who are thriving and celebrating their own language in the face of colossal invasion of English. Oh yes, I’m going to pursue a doctorate degree in sociolinguistics.


Intersectionality and White Women

The title is two keywords of this entry. Let’s start with intersectionality.


This term was coined by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, American lawyer, civil rights advocate, a leading scholar of critical race theory, and a professor at the UCLA School of Law and Columbia Law School. In her 1989 essay, Crenshaw used the term to “address the marginalization of Black women within not only anti-discrimination law but also in feminist and antiracist theory and politics.” Later in 1991, she also use it to describe “the ways in which social movement organization and advocacy around violence against women” exludes “the vulnerabilities of women of color.”

Her recent usage of the term has broadened rightfully since the feminism and the anti-racism are not the only two movements that intersect. The social constructions of gender, race, social class and ability are interdependent forms of dominant ideology; ideologies and the resistance to them do not function independently. In certain cases, a discourse of resistance can rather produce and legitimize marginalization of another resistance.

An Example re: White Women

Here is an example from Medium by Real Talk: WOC & Allies. The article attributes the cause of white women’s lack of force in anti-racist activism to their deeply-conditioned discomfort with discord, subversion, and disruption. Sassy Latte, Black blogger and activist points out:

As people in marginalized communities gain access to power, the effect is that people who have power are going to have to give some of it up.

And giving up power is scary for it will crack or even dismantle the wall, which has been protecting White people including White women and White women feminists. The rest of the article shows the actions that White women can take to overcome the repulsion from subversion and disruption and use their White privilege to dismantle the systematic racism.

A tiny personal wrap-up

My investigation of intersectionality will continue in my linguistic studies, as language is everywhere and intersects with everything.

Is it okay for a black man to use “bitch” and “pussy” in his rap?

My short answer is “no”. If your answer is a firm no, you might not need to read this article.

I recently volunteered for a week long festival where black artists and artists of color were invited to perform. I was happy, surrounded by people of color and making a contribution in forming community and increasing visibility of POC. On the night of spoken word and poetry, I was struck when I heard a black man rapper using these words: bitch and pussy. It was very clear that he was using them to insult the characters in his story. At that moment, I felt the fragility of supporting one marginalised group when it fails to support the other marginalised groups. As I mentioned in my previous article, [Call it like it is] TERF? TPHP., intersectionality is real and essential. We are in this fight for justice together, and we cannot achieve justice by throwing another marginalised group under the bus.

By no mean, I am not against slurs. I believe slurs are natural expression of human emotions. However, slurs like “bitch” and “pussy” are problematic because they are often misogynic. Contexts determine their meanings, and they can be used by women in an empowering way as Caitie Karasik explained in The Stanford Daily:

A woman saying she is a “bad bitch” is not the same as a man calling a woman “his bitch.” The first can be a term of endearment, the other of possession steeped in a history of oppression. A man telling a man not to be a “bitch” means something entirely different from a woman telling another woman not to be a “bitch.” For one thing, the former suggests women lack value, and the latter suggests that women can only behave in certain ways. For another, men simply lack unfettered access to “bitch,” “pussy,” “cunt,” or “slut” because these words were intended by males to insult what’s female, or restrict women’s freedom of thought and behavior.

For I myself is a woman and is critical of oppression on women, I could not enjoy or appreciate the artist work any longer. The rapper looked young, so I just made a wish that he will learn, grow, and become a more socially-conscious rapper in the future. I rarely listen to rap, but I know this rapper is not the first man who used misogynic slurs in his work. There is research on who tops in that area.

So here is my long answer to the initial question of whether he can use “bitch” and “pussy”: Noooooooooooooo.

[Call it like it is] TERF? TPHP.

When I first learned what TERF stands for, I was baffled by the combination of these four words. The word “oxymoron” came to my mind. Yea, TERF would be a good example of oxymoron. That would at least benefit people who are learning this word.

Feminism: : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

With this definition of feminism from Merriam-Webster in our mind, let’s look at TERF.

TERF: Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist

It is your total freedom to form a social group excluding anyone you want. Sure, you can do TEDW (Trans-Exclusionary Dog Walkers), TEM (Trans-Exclusionary Moms), TEWL (Trans-Exlusionary White Liberals), whatever. The biggest problem with the term “TERF” is that they are calling themselves feminists. (There are bigger issues with TERF itself, but I’m focusing on the terminology here.)

I do not believe in feminists who care about women only. Feminism is the work to achieve gender equality by fighting the oppression and discrimination based on gender. And in our current society as well as any past ones, women have been the bigger victim of oppression and discrimination in most cases; therefore the term “feminism”. If men would have been the bigger victim, it would have been called “masculism”.

I also do not believe in separatism in the fight for justice. All social matters intersect, and gender equality and queer rights overlap closely. When you are fighting against the unrealistic beauty standard enforced on women, you can not disregard the fight for the individual expression of gender. We are all fighting against oppressive norms in different ways.

Back to the oxymoron-ness in TERF, so when you call yourself a feminist, you need to care about not just women but all humans including all queer people. You can not cherry-pick who to care about. For example, confronting rape culture should involve healing women victims of sexual violence but also men victims of toxic masculinity. You cannot solve the problem by just focus on one gender. You need to approach it holistically.

Some more contexture information on TERF groups:

Many anti-trans feminists today claim it’s (TERF) a slur, despite what many see as an accurate description of their beliefs. They now prefer to call themselves “gender critical.”

Gender-critical feminism, at its core, opposes the self-definition of trans people, arguing that anyone born with a vagina is in its own oppressed sex class, while anyone born with a penis is automatically an oppressor. In a TERF world, gender is a system that exists solely to oppress women, which it does through the imposition of femininity on those assigned female at birth.

Full article: The rise of anti-trans “radical” feminists, explained

To tell you the truth, this issue aches my heart too much, so it’s been a struggle for me to start writing this blog entry and continue to write. I’m gonna wrap it up shortly for that reason. Let me challenge one more word in TERF though: radical.

I think radical is mis-leading, so is “extreme”. Extreme feminism must mean like trying to make everything same for all gender. Can we just be straightforward and swap it with “hateful”?

So here you go, your new name, TERF: TPHP (Trans-Phobic Hateful People). Ahhhh.. now I can breathe a little. Call it like it is. Let’s be real.

A small apology to TERF. I just realized that your new name does not have any vowel, which makes it difficult to pronounce. Try sounding out each consonant without vowel: T-P-H-P. It might work.

Branches of Linguistics of My Interest

In preparation for writing the personal statment for my PhD program application, I wanted to go through the terms that describe different branches of linguistics that I’m interested.


  • The effect of society on language
  • Includes norms, expectations, context, usage
  • overlaps with pragmatics
  • connected with linguistic anthropology

Linguistic Anthropology

  • the interdisciplinary study of how language influences social life.
  • language as a cultural resource and speaking as a cultural practice
  • Started with endangered languages and extended to most aspects of language structure and use
  • how language shapes communication, forms social identity and group membership, organizes large-scale cultural beliefs and ideologies, and develops a common cultural representation of the world

John H McWhorter

My inspiration for becoming a popular linguist came from listening to the Lexicon Valley, hosted by John H McWhorter. He has also written a long list of articles that tab on the current events to provoke critical debates on social and political issues on various channels including The Atlantic. He is “an associate professor of English and comparative literature at Columbia University. He earned his B.A. from Rutgers, his M.A. from New York University, and his Ph.D. in linguistics from Stanford” according to his bio.


It seems that I can pursue a PhD program in either field, sociolinguistics or linguistic anthropology. That matters more for my dissertation would be the professors I work with and the culture and strength of the program. What will nurture my research in the direction I want, social activism through linguistics, would be continuous reading and learning of the society and language on my own.


[Investigation of Ingenious Anglo-Korean Idioms 2] 머쓱타드 & 코쓱모스 messukthatu & khossukmosu*

*Yale Romanization of Korean is used for this article.

Morphology of 머쓱타드

Blending of two words took place taking advantage of the similar sound of the first two syllables of word 1, 머쓱 messukand the first two syllables of word 2, 머스 mesu.

word 1: 머쓱하다 messukhata

  • meaning: feel embarrassed or awkward

word 2: 머스타드 mesuthatu

  • Anglo-Korean word from “mustard”
  • Deletion of post-vowel r
  • Two vowel epentheses to resolve the consonant sounds that do not occur in the syllable-final position in Korean: mus and tard.

Morphology of 코쓱모스

Blending of two words took place taking advantage of the similar sound of word 1, 코쓱 khossukand the first two syllables of word 2, 코스 khosu.

word 1: 코쓱 khossuk

  • Internet slang
  • Abbreviation of  닦다 kholul ssuk takkta “to wipe under your nose with your hand or index finger” (when feeling embarrased or awkward)

word 2: 코스모스 khosumosu

  • Anglo-Korean word from “cosmos”
  • Two vowel epentheses to resolve the consonant sounds that do not occur in the syllable-final position in Korean: cos and mos.


Both expressions are used online in postings or comments to describe a situation where one would feel embarrased or awkward.

Unique Highlights

Used with illustration

Often users post the illustrations along with the expression. On the left, it is a bottle of mustard, and on the right, it is a cosmos flower wiping its nose. Both are sweating to indicate their feeling of embarrassment and awkwardness.

Myriad of similar puns

As I explained in the morphology section, both expressions use pun in blending. The pun in 머쓱타드 led to a series of similar puns for the same meaning, expressing embarrassment and awkwardness with Anglo-Korean words that have syllables like 마스 masu, 머스 mesu. For example,

  • 머쓱카라 messukkhala: 머쓱 + 마스카라 masukhala “mascara”
  • 리트머쓱 시험지 lithumessuk: 머쓱 + 리트머스 시험지 lithumesu “litmus paper”

This webpage has a longer list of similar puns along with their illustrations.

ConLang, Pidgin, and Creole. How about Korean English?


The Language & The Expanse (feat. Nick Farmer, Linguist) : Episode 46 of Decipher SciFi started with a term that I wasn’t familiar: ConLanger. The Language Creation Society (LCS) defines the related terms:

Conlanging is the creation of constructed languages or conlangs, such as Esperanto, Dothraki, Lojban, or Klingon. A conlanger is someone who creates or constructs languages or conlangs.

Nick Farmer worked on Belter Creole for The Expanse TV show, and Belter is the language used by Belters who live in astroides far from Earth and Mars. I’ve learned about pidgin and creole languages before but this would be a good time to clarify their relationships.

Pidgin and Creole

Pidgin is a language created by speakers of different languages coming into contact. It is created to allow the speakers to communicate with each other.

When a pidgin language developes higher complexity and cultivateds native speakers over a long time, it becomes a creole. “Creoles always develop out of a pidgin” according to English Language and Linguistics Online.

In The Expanse, speakers of various Earth languages come into contact in the space when they move to outer planetary area. They develope Belter pidgin, and it become Belter Creole over generations.

Korean English

I’ve just thought of Korean English, one of the language varieties spoken in South Korea. It is mostly English vocabulary and expression that has undergone changes to look and sound like Korean. Is it a pidgin or creole?

It is not a pidgin because it is not created for communication purpose. Only Korean speakers can understand Korean English, not the English speakers. It is rather elements of one language, English, that have entered another language, Korean, and adjusted themselves to settle in the new language environment. (Then is Korean English still an accurate name? Should it be just called Korean?)

It is not a creole because it did not develope from a pidgin.